Being a truthful record of things that never happened · every story invented, every source real
A Solemn Undertaking
We invent everything about the past and nothing about you. The only history we keep is fake.
I · What We Collect
Nothing with your name on it. We keep anonymous visit counts — which dispatches are read, in which countries, on which sort of device — the way a coffeehouse counts cups, not customers. We run no advertising, sell nothing to anyone, and maintain no dossier on you (the Bureau's dossiers are reserved for people who have been dead for three centuries).
II · The Cookies
This site sets exactly one cookie of its own, and its entire life's purpose is to remember whether you prefer to read by daylight or by candlelight. It does not follow you around the internet. It does not know your name. It is, frankly, not very ambitious.
III · Third Parties
Embedded moving pictures (YouTube) load only after you press play — until that moment, you are looking at a harmless engraving of a play button, and no third party knows you exist. Fonts arrive from Google Fonts. That is the complete guest list; nobody else is invited to the party.
IV · Your Rights
Under the GDPR you may request access to, correction of, or erasure of your personal data. Since we hold none, we can grant all three requests instantly, simultaneously, and retroactively — the fastest compliance in Europe, real or invented. Questions nonetheless? Write to the Bureau.
